|There was a detective named Tracy,|
Who frequently acted quite spacey,
She met a young stud,
Who drank only blood...
That never happened on Cagney & Lacey!
|There was an old vampire named Nick,|
Who was... just a bit thick.
He wiffled and waffed,
Diffled and dalffled
And ended up staked with a stick.
|There was a sexy vamp named Janette,|
One of the best you could have met.
Then season three came along,
And she had to say "so long".
So she went and drove off in her 'vette.
|There was a young rookie named Tracy,|
Opinions differ - I say "let her be".
She’ll grow, improve and change,
Or be cursed by fans with mange,
And tossed into the wild, blue sea.
|There once was a vampire named Nick|
Who was known far and wide as a brick.
He once wished to be mortal.
Now he stands at Life's portal
and can't decide which side to pick.
|There once was a vampire, Janette,|
What was neither a fool, nor bimbette.
At the change of the season
She left-- with good reason!
For who'd *want* to be Nick's dinette?
|There was a young vampire, Vachon,|
Whose hair was tres long et tres bon.
It's a pity about
Him being such a lout,
But demographics are what we live on.
|A young cop, the name of Tracy|
Could be silly, in fact, a bit spacey.
If the kid settled down,
And stopped acting the clown,
Would she be more like Cagney & Lacey?
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